Keeping Track of Your Child’s Behavior

How do you really know whether your attempt to change a child's behavior is working'? Sometimes it's obvious, but often you don't know - unless you keep records.

If you have pinpointed behavior and want to begin changing it, it is best to start with information on how often it is happening. Mental records or impressions are not enough, for our memories are notoriously faulty. One of the greatest failures in behavior-change programme is not keeping accurate records. Behavior changes can be a slow process and, even though it is actually happening, a parent may not he completely aware of it at the time with only casual observation.

Once you have pinpointed the troublesome behavior, I he following steps should he taken for adequate record keeping:

Weight loss is a slow process. Pounds do not suddenly disappear, and any person changing their eating habits needs all the encouragement possible. With all family members involved and on a positive focus, there can be lots of social rewards for exercising, eating smaller portions, and giving up high-calorie foods.

Thus, regardless of the behavior to be changed, you need to be sure that all family members are involved, know how to socially reward the desired behavior, and follow through. Treat it as a family project where nobody feels excluded. It is particularly important that no family member suffers by a programme to change another's behavior, because the likely reaction to an undeserved penalty is to sabotage the programme.

How do you get other children in the family to co-operate with a behavioral change programme, rather than ridicule the child involved or sabotage parents' efforts? It's no secret that children enjoy teasing and annoying each other, and may even be delighted when the other one gets into trouble with their parents. In short, children can develop an acute sense of negative focus by eagerly picking away at anything they know will irritate a brother or sister: The end result is that Mum or Dad must play referee. When dealing with a specific behavioral problem, we want to be sure that not only Mum and Dad, but also the brother and/or sister, have a positive focus on the improved behavior. Reward sharing provides a reason for the other child to encourage a change in behavior rather than hinder it.

Choosing the reward to share must be done carefully. It has to be something that everybody likes and it must not occur very often.

In other words, it is not already a regular part of family entertainment. If it's routine to go out for a meal every Friday night, don't suddenly insist that one child has to behave correctly or nobody goes out. That puts everybody in the position (it being punished if the child in question does not immediately perform well. It may result in great pressure from brothers or sisters who don't want to be cheated out of their fun. Once the special family reward has been selected, behavior is then recorded and socially rewarded, step-by- step. Possibly points or stars can be used until a desired goal is reached. Then the family can share the special reward.

The emphasis is not on if the goal is going to be reached. Parents should also avoid planning shared rewards I hat are time limited, running out at a certain date and placing a child under pressure (If James gets 50 points by Sunday, we can all go to the beach'). Instead, it should be planned to allow the child to achieve success at his or her own pace ('When James has collected 50 points, we can all have a day at the beach').

Redefine (if necessary) the behavior in a positive focus. It is typically human to see problems in terms of behavior we don't like. However that means we are watching and counting undesirable behavior - a negative focus. Any negative behavior can be redefined so we can direct our attention towards the positive behavior that should take its place.

To express behavior in positive focus is essential because, when we are ready to make a change, we want all our efforts, attention, and concern to be directed towards the desired behavior. That can only happen with a positive focus. Catch them being good.

2. Design a method of counting the behavior. Recall again that it is important to obtain a measure of the behavior before anything is done to change it. At this point parents should continue to behave in their normal way. If you are going to teach toilet training you need to decide how often to check and over how long a period just checking one morning or relying upon your memory is not sufficient. Again, with each measure of behavior,
it is important for the parents to continue to relate to the child exactly as before during the 'counting' period, (hereby providing a normal opportunity for the behavior to occur. For example, if you are checking 'dry pants', don't change your child's fluid intake or start taking him or her to the toilet more often. If observing co-operative play, don't provide a new scat of toys to play with. When checking how well your child eats, don't change the types of food served or portions given. If you want to see how often someone is on time, don't change the types of situations involved. To get an idea of how often your child interrupts your conversation, keep your conversation patterns the same, in the usual places and at the usual times.

3. Count the results. Use a simple sheet and record the behavior as it happens, keeping it accurate throughout the specified time. Don't try to trust this job to your memory alone. Do not show it to the child (remember, you are not yet trying to do anything to change the behavior). Add it up so you have a total for the week or period involved. For example, you might find that your child had dry pants on thirty-two out of seventy occasions (or about 46 per cent of the time). Or there (night be fourteen interruptions daring the three and a half hours of monitored parental conversations that week (or four per hour). This is the before count.

At the end of your attempt to change the child's behavior you will want to carry out the same checks on the behavior: for the after count. It can then be compared with the before count, to decide whether your efforts have been effective. The before and after behavior counts will be clearly different if the programme had any effect. If there is no difference, then it's back to the drawing board. Remember, the problem is not with you or the child, but with the programme you designed. Try again and continue to keep accurate records!

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