How to Teach Your Child to Correct His Behavior Step by Step

To apply this principle:

1. Divide into small consecutive steps the pinpointed behavior you want to teach.

2. Teach each step, through description, imitation (modelling) where necessary, and liberal rewards for success at each step.

3. Once a step has been mastered, ask the child to practice it with all the other steps leading up to it, continually reviewing the entire sequence from the beginning.

4. Proceed step-by-step until the entire behavior sequence has been mastered. A large success fo11ows many small successes!

Consider the ineffective approach in these two examples. Mother asked Keith to start making his own bed without first demonstrating exactly what the steps are. She mistakenly assumed he knew how to do it because he had seen her do it. Keith does what he thinks is a satisfactory job and waits for Mother. But she says (by her words, posture, expression, and tone of voice) that he didn't quite come up to expectation. She gave no encouragement for the work he did and she fell into the trap of doing it herself (unfortunately Keith learns that his mother will probably do his work for him if he does it poorly)! She also failed to give him a small step that he could successfully accomplish. Keith still has not learned any of the steps involved, nor has he experienced any real success in what he did.

Kim's mother asked him to do only a small and easy part of a total learning task. She showed how it was done ask him to imitate her behavior. She also rewarded him with her touch, a big smile, and praise. Finally she let Kim know what he will learn tomorrow. It may be that she will have to repeat the first steps a number of times before he is fully successful. At this point Kim has worked at the first steps in bed-making and probably experienced a feeling of success in the process.

Let us look at another pair of situations. Michael apparently has no set study time. After dinner he is allowed to become interested in a television programme and then is told to do his homework. This makes homework even more unpleasant than it would be normally, and puts his mother in the position of being like a keeper. 'Michael stays in his room for half an hour, which is a substantial effort if he actually spent it on homework, but is treated by his mother as if nothing had been accomplished. Instead of rewarding the half-hour of work and allowing a 'break' from study, she actually punishes the child's efforts by sending him back to the bedroom.
Unfortunately, the entire situation has been unpleasant. Homework for Michael probably is a genuine pain. He has been taught merely to stay in his bedroom, not necessarily to study, and studying has been associated with missing television. To make matters worse, because other members of the family enjoy themselves while he doesn't, the entire homework-television situation can only seem unfair to him.

In the second situation, there is a defined time to study. Mother socially rewards Ian with praise and touch after a short interval of study. She also checks his work (to be sure he is actually working), arranges for a short break after half an hour, and at the end of the evening rewards his efforts with praise and a television programme of his choice. This situation has a pleasant outcome, even though 'studying' itself may be unpleasant for Ian.

A footnote concerning study habits: children usually enjoy watching television. Parents can arrange study schedules so that weekly programme become rewards for study time. In this way studying does not mean missing favorite shows, but serves to earn time to watch those shows. Such times may vary from day to day, but should be planned ahead of time. Activities that children enjoy can be used as rewards for other tasks they need to do but do not particularly enjoy. The example of Ian involved television, but it can apply to telephone use, radios, records, outings, or whatever.

We find that, for practical reasons, the bedroom is usually the place used by children for study. This presents a problem as children mainly sleep and play in bedrooms. Therefore most of the 'cues' in the bedroom suggest something other than doing homework, which hardly helps to maintain a mood for studying! Many students tell us that they get sleepy while stretched out on their beds studying, which is hardly surprising! For effective study, there should ideally be a separate comfortable place, well lit and free from distractions, where only studying occurs. We recognize that such ideal conditions are not always possible. The main idea is that the study area itself should serve as a cue for studying, just as a kitchen serves as a cue for eating! Helping your child to find or create a 'study-only' area will be a major step towards improving his or her school work!

Parenting Articles Why Do Children Act the Way They Do | Each Child is Unique | How to Encourage Your Children to Talk to You | Parenting: Learning Experience | Rewarding Your Children with Material Rewards | Parents Do Have Influence | Children Imitate Their Parent's Role Model | Will Too Much Love Spoil Your Child | How to Reward Your Child | Parenting and Social Reward | Children Shoes Online | Cheap Toys for Kids | Baby Care Guide Online Parenting Tips How to Eliminate Undesirable Behavior | How to Approach Your Child in the Right Way | Parenting and Punishment | How to Praise Your Kids When They are Doing Right | Keeping Track of Your Child’s Behavior | How to Teach Your Child to Correct His Behavior Step by Step | How to Reward Your Child in the Correct Timing | Two Basic Rules for Rewarding Your Child | How to Make Your Message Clear to Your Child | How to Combine Punishment with Rewards